Thursday, March 3

> What's fate?

Let's not call this fate, lets just say its coincidential. Up at 7am, lessons at 9. Rightfully, i should be out by 8am to catch the bus for school, but coincidentially daddy said he could give me a lift, so why not? And coincidentially, he came online at 8. No, its not fate. Agenda for today? Lessons till 1pm, meeting Lyn and Ting at TP bus stop, dance lessons at 6pm. yawns.

Im beginning to lose faith in fate. I used to believe that everything is fated and predestined and so i was able to take things lightly when it isnt going to the way i yearn it to be. Like for instance, being out of a relationship, getting dumped and cheated or merely being fooled, i believed its all fated and so i do not blame anyone, not even the word 'love'.

Now i realised, it isnt possible to be fated in every single thing. Is that the reason how the word 'coincidence' come along? I do not know. But in my point of view, things happen not because its fated to happen, but pure coincidence. Will that make me feel better now? That we coincidentially joined the same thing, coincidentially have the same group of friends, coincidentially became friends, coincidentially had nothing to do so we went out, coincidentially this and coincidentially that.

And now as you coincidentially took over the role of a dino, you're going to coincidentially do what dino did, and coincidentially have the same ending. No?

I've never lost trust in 'love' totally like 100%, and i still have not. But im losing trust and faith in myself. There must be something wrong with me, definately. If not, why must the same thing happen to me consecutively? My first love, then my second, then Mr Dino and now you. Dino and you are too alike, i hate the mind games!

But at this very moment, my affection towards you is nothing compared to how i felt for dino. That was hell, a total fiasco. But no one can ever reign over how i felt for my second. I wasnt even myself. Life's a bore.

sealed-with-a-kiss < 8:15:00 am

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